looking for my cape....

i'm a profound believer in what Lent symbolizes and always want to be mindful of how the giving up of something or "fasting" from something is designed to bring to mind for us the struggle and sacrifice of Christ and all he did for us so long ago on the cross. the beginning of Lent always brings with it an extra dose of self-reflection for me. the church i attend does not really stress the importance or necessity of giving up something for Lent, but that very practice has somehow managed to wind itself around my life in its own way that i have come to enjoy each spring. in my reflection, i seek to discover what it is that i'm clinging to, what is taking my energy and attention, and what is currently eroding my spirit the most and once identified, i then challenge myself to see if i can go without it for the agonizing 40 days of Lent. the past few years, what i have come to discover is that not only can i overcome the personal obstacle for forty days but can actually (gulp) enjoy living without it and often continue the challenge indefinitely.

i've been thinking and i've decided that i'm going to actually go "all-in" this year and give up sweets for Lent. big deal some might say; everyone does that. well- in the past i have not. never. not once have i thought i would be okay without a "little sugar fix here and there" to keep me going throughout my day. for some, going without sweets would seem natural, predictable, boring, right or perhaps even easy. for me? it feels IMPOSSIBLE. i love my sweet, delicious baked goods and candy. love them. absolutely. yes. did i mention that i love them?

in the past, i've learned that i can go without a lot of things, new clothes, added expenses, movies, cable TV, certain flavors, pop, special coffees, entertainment websites and magazines, etc but always in years past, my love of all things sweet has been off-limits for the surrendering-because in my mind, i NEED that to look forward to- to enjoy- to satisfy my craving...and help me to be in a better mood-which is exactly why this year, these beloved sweets have to be on the chopping block. this year, its about sacrifice. its about noticing and remembering and experiencing the void. its about feeling without but finding enough within. its about breaking a really bad habit and throwing away a crutch. its about not making excuses for myself any longer.

i'm not superwoman-but i will probably need to find my superhero cape so i can at least pretend i have super-human strength as i venture forth into these next forty days. goodbye all things sweet and delicious! i'll be missing you!