Thursday, October 8, 2009

Radio Silence

If you are looking for me- i've been writing over at our other blog- lassoingthemoon.com

Please come on by and see what has been going on- I'll be back here someday, but probably not for awhile....

sarah B

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Treasures

A few years ago, a friend suggested that I subscribe to a weekly email written by a woman from her church. I read a few of her pieces and immediately knew I wanted to read more of her writing. Leigh McLeroy sends emails out every Wednesday titled "Wednesday Words" and today's was especially powerful for me. (http://www.wednesdaywords.com/)

She was writing about her new book entitled Treasured. She shared that treasures are continually being revealed in our lives and how these particular treasures are reminders that represent not only where we have been, but how God has revealed himself at various times when all seemed lost. Treasures can be a word, a song, a passage, an object...whatever. It is whatever significantly reminds you of your journey's twists and turns with God.

Toward the end, she posed the question, "So what is in your treasure box? What keepsakes or objects tell the story of your experience with God?" This really got me thinking. Do I even pay attention to the treasures that have been dropped along the path for me to discover? Have I bothered to collect them? Treasure them? Cherish them for what they represent to me about my journey? I fear that I have not been very diligent in my treasuring and not for lack of treasures, but for what appears to be a complete lack of gratitude and heart appreciation.

So I decided that I'm going to retrace some of my steps and begin collecting these treasures- While some treasures are but memories, others are tangible. Leigh's words reminded me that it's so important to hold onto these "mile markers" from our lives to help us remember where we have been and how God revealed himself along the path. Everyone has these treasures in their lives. I'm interested in learning what you cherish and why. So as I begin this personal journey of excavation and unravelling, I wish thank Leigh for her words that continue to inspire me- and not just on Wednesdays! Happy treasure hunting!

Friday, July 24, 2009

PS.

All of this waiting was the major reason for my blog absence. It was too much for me to wrap my brain around for a long time- that and I'm learning that growing a baby makes you really, REALLY tired!

Waiting

It's ironic that waiting is one of the most difficult things in life to do. To just be patient, sit still, have faith, be quiet and wait. Usually whatever it is you are waiting for is all consuming for your brain, so sitting still and being quiet about it feels even more impossible. God has a lot to say about our waiting...and even though He's pretty clear, I still seem to struggle and wrestle with its dichotomy: so simple and yet SO HARD!

It feels like I've been waiting for a lot of really big things lately. Things over which I have had no control, power, sway or say. For example, I've been waiting for summer to go by (its my absolute least favorite season). I've been waiting to see which direction my life will go in creatively, professionally, personally...you know, just waiting to see what unfolds or inspires. I've been waiting to see how the long job search journey my dear husband has been on will unfold and wondering what the outcome will be, wondering how long the wait will be and how this search will impact our futures. I've been waiting for my mom's heart ailments to get better and for those all important answers to the seemingly endless medical questions we had been asking. But most of all I've been waiting to tell a really big secret we've been keeping.

It's amazing how just when you think you are at your absolute limit and can't handle any more, you may actually be right because things begin to change and shift allowing a glimpse of light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel of waiting which is exactly what happened for me at the end of June.

Even though summer was still upon us, I began imagining a new life for myself- nothing concrete or absolute at the moment, but it took on a shape and form that brought excitement, inspiration, energy and joy to my heart that has felt heavy and stuck for a long time. My sweet husband was offered two wonderful job opportunities and was able to choose what he wanted to do and what would make him feel most alive. (HUGE answer to my prayers!) My mom's heart situation began to improve and while it's still something that is being monitored, she was allowed to leave the confinement of tubes and beeping machines at the hospital and return home. She's feeling better than she has in months and that in and of itself is a tremendous relief. While we don't have all of the answers, I certainly feel like I have my mom back!

Experiencing all of these lovely resolutions to long pressing problems, I began to feel comfort and ease about sharing our other news; news we had been warned and told to wait to share....but cannot wait to share any longer- here it is: WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!! We are due in January 2010 and could not be happier about it! While we were busy doing all of this waiting- God it appears, was not.

I heard a quote one time when struggling through a difficult season of my life that said: "God works where he asks you to wait." How comforting and in my experience time and time again, how true.

My cup runneth over.

Friday, June 12, 2009

another good one

I spend a lot of time wondering what is ahead. Where I will be, how i will be, what i will be doing, wishing i was doing all of these fun, creative, adventurous things. think think think- I am just at the cusp of actually starting to 'do'- its a thrilling place to be and a beautiful vista to behold- I came across this quote on one of my favorite blogs 'The Lettered Cottage' (see side for a link)- a blog that ALWAYS inspires my heart and brings a little bit of restoration for my soul. thought i'd share the quote with you too. enjoy!
Predicting the future.
The most accurate way to predict the future is to get busy creating it. T
hough you cannot guess what's going to happen, you can know for sure what you intend to do.
Do you wish to be in the right place at the right time? Then commit to creating real value in every time and place where you find yourself.
The most reliable way to get in on a good thing is to put forth the effort that makes that good thing real.
A surefire way to have good luck is to create your own luck through the actions you take.
It serves no purpose to wish for what you don't have. Use that energy to fulfill, express and expand upon all the great possibilities you do have.
The more generously you participate in life, the more it will go your way.
Always see the positive possibilities in the way things are, and things will work to the benefit of you and those around you.
The future belongs to those who act with commitment, persistence and positive purpose in the present.
Use this now moment to make your best predictions for the future come to life.
-- Ralph Marston

Quotes

I've always been a fan of good quotes and the little boost you feel after reading something inspirational. I've recently had several conversations with a dear friend about optimism and how it can be present in one situation and be gone in the next...it's something we've been pondering. Anyways, she mentioned "The Optimist's Creed" and I googled it and found it to be brimming with little bits of wisdom I'd like to say I bring into every circumstance. I honestly cannot say that I do, but I can truly say that I'd like to try and do better! Here it is:

The Optimist's Creed
Promise yourself
to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
to talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
to make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
to look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
to think only of the best, and expect only the best.
to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
to wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
to give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
- C.D. Larson

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Blink

just like that and its summertime. blink. its crazy. my apologies for being radio silent for over 2 months now. i really have no excuse other than plain being lazy. i have so many things i want to write about, but somehow have not made it a priority to capture here- which is annoying. i aim to remedy that here in the near future. i also struggle with how plain and somewhat 'blah' i feel my blog is- so i've been researching ways to make it a little more fancy and eye-catching and creative....so stay tuned. no big promises, but hopefully some baby steps of progress.

i have also been lax about being intentional about being present in my life- about recognizing the blessings and joy around me, the simple beautiful moments, the happiness that is all around me and i aim to be better about that too. starting....now. ready......go. 1.....2.......3.......go! seriously- this part especially means a lot to me....i'm in a rich season of life right now and dont want to miss it because it would be the easy thing to do.

thats the beauty of this life- you can blink your eyes, click your heels, say a prayer (not necessarily all three, but you know what i mean) and begin again. New. fresh. clean.

a thank you for fresh starts does not seem like enough to say, but i'm thankful all the same. here i go- starting over again- --again!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Back to Life

I've been in hibernation mode and have been loving it. I've been nesting with my new husband, working, watching basketball, writing thank you notes and trying to settle into my new role as a wife. However, now that it's April, its time to throw open the windows, get some fresh air in the lungs and push into new adventures. I've got many projects in the cooker- a scrapbook to create (I'm not a scrapbooker, but want to document this past year of my life as it's truly been the most amazing so far), a gift to create for my family's Christmas gift (I know, I'm starting early!) I'm itching to become more active (physically and creatively). I'd love to redecorate our den/office area and make it more aesthetically pleasing, I'm planning my landscaping for the year and preparing to plant, I've got some kind of creative bug inside of me that really wants to try some new efforts at expression, I'd love to start entertaining, can't wait to start cooking (experimenting), and baking and I really want to spend more time writing here. All this while staying on our new budget! It's going to require a lot of energy, focus and fun and I secretly cannot wait. I love the month of April.

Friday, March 13, 2009

a fly among shepherds

how did i get here?? that was what was pounding through my mind the other night as i sat in my chair listening and taking notes. you see, I have the honor of writing on my church's creative writing team and was tapped to help with an upcoming project that involves several local churches and on this particular evening, i was attending a pow wow for the head pastors from these churches...(and i was supposed to be there too! whew! crazy!) As i sat just slightly back from the group (so as not to intrude) i was able to hear these amazing leaders encouraging, sharing ideas, supporting one another, joking around, teasing each other, identifying strengths seen in one another's congregations and pointing one another toward the ultimate goal of becoming one (capital C) Church body in this fair city of ours. it was thrilling to glimpse behind the curtain and to see these men who are generally "competing" (in a weird way) with one another- doing exactly the opposite.

Towards the end of the meeting we circled up for prayer and i could not help but feel tears stinging my closed eyelids as i attempted to step outside of myself and capture this beautiful image in my mind. * (*now i'm not claiming to be on par with these gifted men of God by any stretch- i'm just a volunteer writer for goodness sakes!) listening to them pray together, i could not help but lift up my own prayer of thanksgiving for this opportunity to serve, for these incredible men around me as well as a prayer of protection over their lives, ministries and marriages. thank you Lord for this glimpse. thank you for these shepherds in your city and for giving me a chance to be a welcomed fly on the wall among them.

lost in the laundry?

well, i wish i could say that i've been sporting my superhero cape since my last posting and have not been eating sweets...but the truth is, after five solid days of no sweets, i was grouchy, short tempered, depressed and antsy. it started with a simple m&m, which led to bigger and better things like cookies, brownies and more candy. granted, it wasn't consumed all at once, but the sweetness on my tongue has brought back a little bit of joy to my days. the removal and subsequent losing of my "cape" has actually been a good thing. for once i am actually happier for something going missing in the "laundry." i guess i'm not a superhero after all and i'm okay with that.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

looking for my cape....

i'm a profound believer in what Lent symbolizes and always want to be mindful of how the giving up of something or "fasting" from something is designed to bring to mind for us the struggle and sacrifice of Christ and all he did for us so long ago on the cross. the beginning of Lent always brings with it an extra dose of self-reflection for me. the church i attend does not really stress the importance or necessity of giving up something for Lent, but that very practice has somehow managed to wind itself around my life in its own way that i have come to enjoy each spring. in my reflection, i seek to discover what it is that i'm clinging to, what is taking my energy and attention, and what is currently eroding my spirit the most and once identified, i then challenge myself to see if i can go without it for the agonizing 40 days of Lent. the past few years, what i have come to discover is that not only can i overcome the personal obstacle for forty days but can actually (gulp) enjoy living without it and often continue the challenge indefinitely.

i've been thinking and i've decided that i'm going to actually go "all-in" this year and give up sweets for Lent. big deal some might say; everyone does that. well- in the past i have not. never. not once have i thought i would be okay without a "little sugar fix here and there" to keep me going throughout my day. for some, going without sweets would seem natural, predictable, boring, right or perhaps even easy. for me? it feels IMPOSSIBLE. i love my sweet, delicious baked goods and candy. love them. absolutely. yes. did i mention that i love them?

in the past, i've learned that i can go without a lot of things, new clothes, added expenses, movies, cable TV, certain flavors, pop, special coffees, entertainment websites and magazines, etc but always in years past, my love of all things sweet has been off-limits for the surrendering-because in my mind, i NEED that to look forward to- to enjoy- to satisfy my craving...and help me to be in a better mood-which is exactly why this year, these beloved sweets have to be on the chopping block. this year, its about sacrifice. its about noticing and remembering and experiencing the void. its about feeling without but finding enough within. its about breaking a really bad habit and throwing away a crutch. its about not making excuses for myself any longer.

i'm not superwoman-but i will probably need to find my superhero cape so i can at least pretend i have super-human strength as i venture forth into these next forty days. goodbye all things sweet and delicious! i'll be missing you!

Monday, February 23, 2009

shaking off the sand...

its a challenge to begin putting to words my experiences these past couple of weeks. i feel like i've been living a wonderful dream...i'm now married to my dream guy! we exchanged our vows surrounded by friends and loved ones on a gorgeous day in February and started our happily ever after with a trip to mexico which i am now convinced may be heaven on earth. over our ten blissful days out of the country, we managed to completely escape reality, avoided all news media and connection with the outside world, we ate gourmet food at every meal, spent most all of our waking ours on the beach, sipped tropical drinks, managed to get a little bit tan, caught up on our rest and relished our oasis from the overall hustle and bustle of life. needless to say, as i've spent the past several days unpacking, doing laundry, trying to get the house in order and returning to work...i'm having difficulties shaking off the sand.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Oh, Heavenly Day!

its 70 degrees outside and its february and its kansas! that miracle is just the Master's thumbprint on an already spectacular day of celebration! today i get to marry the man of my dreams! He is an answer to my prayers and a blessing to me in every single way. I'm so excited to become his wife and marvel at the journey God has brought us on to get to this heavenly day.

thinking about what is ahead, i cannot help but reflect on what is behind...and the main lessons i've learned over this season of friendship and courtship with my sweet fiance. As I've grown closer to Joe, i've also grown in my relationship to Christ- and these things I know for sure:

He makes deserts bloom
He makes all things new.
He is the giver of life.
He is the artist who dreams dreams for us that
are simply more than we could ever ask or imagine.
His ways are not ours, but they are magnificent in their splendor and mystery.
I'm honored to become Joe's wife today.
Thank you, God!
Oh, Heavenly Day!

Friday, January 16, 2009

A Big Day


It was a big day today...



...we ventured out into the bitter (12 degree) cold, falling snow and creeping traffic to get our marriage license for the state of Missouri. We began by getting some coffee at Hi Hat, and then set out for downtown Kansas City. Along the way we had to change cars, routes and our ETAs at the office, but we were not deterred and thanks to my future husband's encouragement to keep going, we are now legally able to get married in Missouri! (I took a few photos because i always want to remember the fun we had together this fine winter's morning.)