It's ironic that waiting is one of the most difficult things in life to do. To just be patient, sit still, have faith, be quiet and wait. Usually whatever it is you are waiting for is all consuming for your brain, so sitting still and being quiet about it feels even more impossible. God has a lot to say about our waiting...and even though He's pretty clear, I still seem to struggle and wrestle with its dichotomy: so simple and yet SO HARD!
It feels like I've been waiting for a lot of really big things lately. Things over which I have had no control, power, sway or say. For example, I've been waiting for summer to go by (its my absolute least favorite season). I've been waiting to see which direction my life will go in creatively, professionally, personally...you know, just waiting to see what unfolds or inspires. I've been waiting to see how the long job search journey my dear husband has been on will unfold and wondering what the outcome will be, wondering how long the wait will be and how this search will impact our futures. I've been waiting for my mom's heart ailments to get better and for those all important answers to the seemingly endless medical questions we had been asking. But most of all I've been waiting to tell a really big secret we've been keeping.
It's amazing how just when you think you are at your absolute limit and can't handle any more, you may actually be right because things begin to change and shift allowing a glimpse of light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel of waiting which is exactly what happened for me at the end of June.
Even though summer was still upon us, I began imagining a new life for myself- nothing concrete or absolute at the moment, but it took on a shape and form that brought excitement, inspiration, energy and joy to my heart that has felt heavy and stuck for a long time. My sweet husband was offered two wonderful job opportunities and was able to choose what he wanted to do and what would make him feel most alive. (HUGE answer to my prayers!) My mom's heart situation began to improve and while it's still something that is being monitored, she was allowed to leave the confinement of tubes and beeping machines at the hospital and return home. She's feeling better than she has in months and that in and of itself is a tremendous relief. While we don't have all of the answers, I certainly feel like I have my mom back!
Experiencing all of these lovely resolutions to long pressing problems, I began to feel comfort and ease about sharing our other news; news we had been warned and told to wait to share....but cannot wait to share any longer- here it is: WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!! We are due in January 2010 and could not be happier about it! While we were busy doing all of this waiting- God it appears, was not.
I heard a quote one time when struggling through a difficult season of my life that said: "God works where he asks you to wait." How comforting and in my experience time and time again, how true.
My cup runneth over.